Untangling:
AANHPI Intergenerational Dialogues

Anna Hsu, Taiwanese AmericanAnna was born in Troy, Michigan where her family often expressed feelings of scarcity, which shaped her early mindset around lack. Growing up, she saw herself as "the dumb Asian" due to struggles with school and shame over grades. Her mother, a passionate and assertive woman built her life and business from nothing, instilled in Anna a sense of striving for more. Over time, Anna realized these negative thought patterns were not her own.Anna’s relationship with her mother was complicated. As a child, she felt a lack of presence from her mom, who worked long hours and didn’t return home until later in the evening. Anna spent much of her time with her grandmother. Her relationship with her mother deepened over the years as Anna learned more about her mother's difficult upbringing and the lack of affection her mom received from her own mother. This shared understanding has fostered more compassion between them, though moments of tension still arise.Anna’s mother grew up taking care of her family from the age of eight, often struggling with expressing love, a trait passed down from her own mother, who prioritized her son over her daughters. Despite this, Anna’s mom continues to work hard, balancing her career as a mortgage broker while learning to rest and relax. Anna hopes that their relationship will continue to grow with more eye contact, open conversations, and physical affection. Now, as a self-worth coach, she helps others disassociate from harmful beliefs and reframe their sense of self.Anna hopes for her mother: “She wishes her mother would fully accept love and care from others and wants her to know how deeply grateful she is for the sacrifices made for the younger generation.”

Anna Vu-Wallace MD, she/her, VietnameseAnna was born in Vietnam to a naval admiral father, and her family relocated to Wichita, Kansas, in April 1975. She has three younger brothers and one older sister, who provided a safety net during their move and transition. Her relationship with her mother was shaped by cultural expectations and criticism, particularly regarding her physical appearance. While Anna loved playing outside and being in nature, her mother disapproved, valuing wealth and societal status over personal fulfillment. Despite becoming a doctor, the only achievement her mother truly approved of, Anna never felt like she met her mother’s expectations. Expressing love was difficult for her mother, who placed importance on material wealth.A turning point came when Anna visited Vietnam and gave away much of the money and jewelry her mother had given her, realizing the deep poverty there. Her mother’s focus on material things upset Anna, but over time, she began to understand and forgive, recognizing how her mother’s values stemmed from a fear of scarcity and survival.Anna’s relationship with her own daughter has brought healing. Having children shifted her perspective, as she developed a deeper connection with her mother through their shared motherhood experiences. She values the opportunity to work on being the best versions of themselves and to pass down their cultural heritage, free from the trauma of past generations. Anna’s bond with her daughter continues to grow as they navigate generational differences, technology, and their own identities, striving to remain authentic.Anna’s hope for her daughter: “Continue the process of generational healing and can be authentically who they want to be.”

Emily Field, they/them, Vietnamese/WhiteEmily was born in Shawnee Mission, Kansas, before moving to Austin at age three, where she has lived since. Her childhood was filled with strong friendships, supportive teachers, and a diverse community. Her early exposure to Vietnamese culture was limited to family gatherings, and she identified primarily as White until fifth grade, when she began embracing her Vietnamese heritage. Being a mixed child, she had difficulty relating to her parents even though they were very supportive of her journey. Today, she identifies as both Vietnamese and White, choosing different racial labels depending on the context. She also started exploring a genealogy project that helped ground her identity, tracing her heritage back generations on both sides of her family.Emily’s relationship with her mother was complicated by a difficult divorce, which left Emily angry with her mom for years. Her dad’s ongoing love for her mom made her believe the separation was her mom’s fault. Her mom, busy as a single parent, wasn’t around much, which made it hard for Emily to connect with her emotionally. Several family tragedies, including the death of her mom’s fiancé and her uncle’s infant child, left Emily processing grief on her own. Her mother was grieving too and unable to provide much support, leaving Emily to rely on friends and teachers for comfort.In high school, Emily worked through her grief and anger and began to reconnect with her mom, aided by a church retreat that allowed her to let go of much of her resentment. Since then, their relationship has improved, and they now enjoy a close bond, sharing memories and supporting each other. While Emily still has some unresolved feelings, she and her mom have grown significantly in their emotional openness and understanding. They see each other daily as her mom is the first person she goes to for advice. It’s comforting to her that they can have conversations and even disagree, but be able to discuss and be open with each other.Emily’s hope for her mother: “Wish that mom would work less so she can be present while she’s still here - my mom is a medical worker so she understands its important but still selfishly wants more time with her.”

Gabby Lee (she/her) Chinese American
Gabby was born in Austin, Texas, and grew up in a culturally diverse neighborhood on the Eastside, where Latinx and African American influences shaped her upbringing. She had limited exposure to Asian American culture in her early years and sometimes felt embarrassed about being Asian. It wasn’t until she found a community of AAPI friends who shared her love of food that she started to feel a sense of belonging. Family meals, like her grandma’s crispy noodles and her dad’s fried rice, play a significant role in her connection to her cultural identity. Gabby wants to pass on the family’s cultural identity through food, finding her own dish to share with future generations, while cherishing the meals that have connected her to her roots.
Gabby has a close relationship with her parents but her bond with her mother has been a journey. Growing up, Gabby struggled to connect with her extroverted mom as an introverted daughter. Over time, they grew closer as her mom helped her name and process internalized emotions, strengthening their relationship. Gabby feels like an open book with her mom now and appreciates her mother’s flexible, loving approach to each family member. One memorable moment was during an event where the two grew bored and decided to go to the park and hang out.
Gabby admires her mom’s patience, especially in helping her see different perspectives. Her mom’s guidance, like helping Gabby navigate conflicts with friends, has been invaluable. While Gabby dreams of traveling to Thailand or Japan with her mom, she also reflects on their bond as she heads toward college, unsure of how their relationship might evolve, knowing they have built a strong foundation and that she will always support her and have her support.
Gabby’s hope for her mother: “Hope she gets what she gives to others (she does a lot for others). She loves hearing about her job (she can tell her mom likes it and hopes she is fulfilled in her job).”

Kimberly Chung, She/Her, Singaporean ChineseKimberly is a third-generation Singaporean born in Manila and lived in Singapore from ages 3 to 17 before moving to Austin, where she has lived for over 21 years. Growing up as a city girl, she learned Mandarin and experienced a blend of cultures. From a young age, Kim knew she wanted to move to the U.S. and was raised with an open-minded, global perspective.Though independent from an early age, Kim struggled to identify with the Southeast Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) label because her experiences differed from those of her peers. Her understanding of her Asian identity deepened during her 20s and 30s, especially through film and cultural reflection.Kim’s relationship with her mother is close but complex. Her mother is glamorous and perfectionistic, with high standards for appearances. While Kim’s mother shows love through acts of service, Kim often felt pressure to be flawless growing up and wished for more flexibility during her upbringing. Her grandmother, a tough and entrepreneurial woman, also had a strong influence on Kim’s values and personality. Kim seeks to balance Eastern collectivism and Western individualism, striving to understand her identity and pass down cultural values to future generations.

Rachel Lee (she/her) Chinese Canadian
Rachel was born in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and grew up in a culturally rich and varied environment. Her parents were active members of a Chinese immigrant church, which provided a close-knit community for her to be connected to her culture. She attended an all-white private Christian school during her early years, and her family moved frequently.
Rachel’s relationship with her mother was warm and nurturing when she was young. However, her mother was also strict, occasionally disciplining her with spankings, leaving some unprocessed emotional pain. As a teenager, Rachel didn’t always understand her mom but tried to meet her expectations. Over the years, Rachel hoped for her mother to acknowledge her own pain and struggles from her upbringing. She now honors her mother’s story while listening to her inner voice, recognizing that her mother helped her become independent.
Rachel’s relationship with her daughter, Gabby, is rich with pride and joy. Over time, Rachel has watched Gabby develop strong intuition and a tender heart. Rachel is careful not to impose her own challenges onto Gabby, who is more assertive in expressing her needs. Gabby is an internal processor and comfortable telling Rachel what she wants, a contrast to Rachel’s relationship with her mother.
Rachel hopes her daughter: “She will authentically be herself and know there is a secure welcoming space for their relationship.”